Fortis: H Anub'arak Poem

I wrote this after Schadenfreude's first ToGC clear on Monday, when our priest kept shouting "On Delnar! On Delnar!" whenever he grabbed aggro from an incoming add. It broke the tension to change the cry to "On Delnar! On Dancer! On Donner and Blitzen!" and that inspired me to "write" this poem. Apologies to the anonymous author of the original, whether it was Clement C. Moore or Henry Livingston, Jr.


A Visit to Anub'Arak
'Twas the instance 'fore Icecrown, and all through the raid,
We stared at the room where our bones were splayed.
The fish was put down on the floor with a plop
And everyone hoped that their loot would soon drop.

The tanks sallied forth with raid marks on their heads
And nightmares of shadow strike making ranged dead.
Nyrrin with his hammer and I with my shield,
While Hamster and Delnar were keeping us healed.

Then from the last boss, there came such a yell
We knew phase 3 started and we'd entered hell.
Straight down to my cooldowns I went to assist
While Winter cried out "here's nature resist!"

The relentless swarm and punishing frost
Made all of us sweat; one slip and we lost.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But two more big spiders to inspire fear.

With frightening speed they ran for the priest
Their mandibles chomping for a dwarven feast;
"On Delnar! On Daewen! On Sphied now, and Fiddle!
On Dev and on Ordun! OH I've got to piddle!
To the off-tank you go! To the top of the ice!
My god we lost Hamster and OH JESUS CHRIST"

And just when we thought that we couldn't take more
We saw that the healers were both eating floor.
So down to the wire we knew this would go
We mentally wept at our life bars so low...

And then for a moment I felt like a noob
The damnable bug made me an ice cube
I nearly gave up, but we got an extender
I slapped my forehead, cried "Ardent Defender!"

I drank down a potion to start my last stand
And readied my mouse to hit Lay On Hands
I shouted a war cry to all those on Vent
"Let's finish this, guys, he's at two percent!"

Daewen then died from a thousand small bites
But seven still stood to finish the fight
A DStorm from Dev, and Death Strike from Sphied
Was all we could do to stave off the bleed.

His eyes - how they glistened! His horn oh so sharp!
His claws were like knives, gutting me like a carp.
His smug little maw was drawn up like a bow,
His teeth dripped the blood of our raid on the snow.

The spiders still had bits of dwarf in their maws
And Nyrrin was next for their slavering jaws;
Still came more taunts from the oversized bug
As his minions rose up from the tunnels they dug.

We spoke not a word, we almost were spent
We stared at his health - to five digits he went!
We poured it all on, we spammed Holy Wrath
And purged the undead in a sanctified bath.

He fell to the ground! Our team let out sighs;
We quietly rubbed at the tears in our eyes.
I said "Grats you guys, but not to be rude
Let's loot this blue asshole and get ourselves food!"